Male Evolution - The difference between Boys and Men
| by Raul Pop | September 21, 2007
Before you read the following article, please make sure that you have thoroughly read and understood the Disclaimer, which pretty much states that I am perfect and you are not, so if you don’t like the article, then the problem is on your end. If you agree to the disclaimer, or are just too lazy to read it, please read on and keep your comments to yourself. Remember, I warned you! Also, make sure that you read the first part of the evolution series, concerning Female Evolution, in order to understand that no sexual discrimination has been made whatsoever.
Men are the backbone of society. They are the workhorses which drive mankind forward. However, they get no glory, due to the fact that they are dominated by women, who prefer to see them as work-mules. Even the most noble of stallions is reduced to an ass, due to the power and speed of female gossip. Yet man doesn’t always start out as a slave. Actually, he has a very noble beginning to his torment, which he has dubbed ‘life’.
Although a male’s life starts the moment he thrusts his head out of his mother’s vagina, he is not seen as a male by his pack until he thrusts it back into a female, which, in some cases – depending on his lineage – may be the same he came out of. Yet until that day, he still has a few stages to go through, in which he may actually enjoy his life.
The first stage in male evolution is called childhood, a stage from which the body of the male evolves quickly, yet the mind does not. This is the only time of his life when the male acts accordingly to his age. This is also suspected to be the time when they first endure a sharp pain in their private area, as they are observed to fear this more than anything else throughout all other stages. But for many males, this is a time of freedom, when they are constricted neither by laws, nor by the opposite sex, which has been named ‘the weaker sex’. A more appropriate name would be ‘the physically weaker, yet mentally dominant sex’. Intense brain activity can be observed during this period, especially while playing video games. Many believe that this is a good thing, yet there are some who speculate that this is one of the main reasons of cerebral failure, as their brains were never meant for such intense activity. Yet this period is short lived, as young boys spend half of it becoming self-aware and the other half copying each of the parents’ bad traits.
Due to an alarming rate of growth noticed at the end of childhood, the male’s brain is unable to control the entire body. This is clearly the start of adolescence, as cluster of nerves join together to form a second brain inside the teenager’s body, about 60cm (2 feet) lower than the original one. It is during this time that teenagers learn to depend on it more than the original, childish one, yet they falsely blame their actions on hormones. This period is known for its radical changes, as teenagers have to stray more and more from their childhood. If earlier in their life they would be heroes by shooting each other, now all they become is jailbait. Their whole language changes, words like ‘cool’, ’bummer’, ‘narley’ and others being the basics of their new-found speech. Also, the childhood favorite pastime activity – taking a bath – is now considered ‘uncool’, which could be roughly translated as 'the devil’s work'. This is rumored to be the period of ‘great discoveries’, especially in one’s anatomy, yet this is false, as the only part of their bodies that teenagers discover in this period is around 30 square cm (4.8 square inches). Also, it is during this period when all males are tainted by female influence, as they start to experience the female's dominant character even this early in their lifetime. Although physically smaller than their male counterparts, they dominate them through the services they offer.
This is also the time when teenagers find their very own sanctuary: the bathroom. Much like a temple, for the male, the bathroom is a place of peace, contemplation and silence. This is why talking is strictly forbidden in this refuge, those who break this rule being seen as outcasts, branded as 'playing for the wrong team' or 'swinging both ways' - as opposed to the female’s bathroom, where communication is a must.
Adulthood starts abruptly for the males, marked by a simple ring, which he has to procure as a sign of fading intelligence. This period is characterized by the lower brain ceasing to function, as a fully developed man doesn’t need to think anymore. That’s what the female is for. She interprets his childish outbursts as a sign that he wants to relive his childhood, but in his own mind, it never ended. Also, food plays less and less of a role in his daily life, as a new fuel takes over: alcohol. This provides all the nutrients he needs to survive and see the world for what it really is. Also, it is known that alcohol gives the user super-human kung fu powers, as he is willing to pick a fight with anyone, regardless of his size. Proof of these legendary powers came in the form of Jackie Chan, in the movie “Drunken Master”. Women feel that this movie is a kung fu comedy, but it is actually a mass-education documentary. Also, if the level of blood in a man’s alcohol increases significantly – yes, adult males have alcohol flowing through their veins, not blood – he is subject to odd behavior, such as a desire to work or wear a suit.
As brainwave activity starts to decrease, the male body starts secreting a certain chemical from his hand and buttocks, which allows him to fuse with the couch and TV remote, as if they were extensions of his own body. This process is often irreversible, especially if the victim has TiVo. Hearing also appears to decrease, as he no longer hears the chores that his wife gives him. In this state, the adult male resembles a cockroach, who has just had his head chopped off. He will survive this crippling injury, only to die of hunger some time later. Yet women don’t allow men to die. They will keep them alive – just barely – so that they may toy with them as they please, until they can find no further use for them. Indeed, Darwin was right. Males evolve to adolescence, only to devolve to adulthood. A man’s life ends as it once began: he cries in his diapers, unable to get back in the vagina that he so loved.
If you liked this article, along with the previous ones, contact the ArticleSet team for suggestions, praises, topics you’d like to read such an article about and other positive thoughts. If you didn’t, please ignore the previous message and return to your puny, insignificant little existence. Oh, and before you say I have unwillingly insulted myself in this article, I must mention: I’m actually 3 ducks in a man costume. Better luck next time!
Men are the backbone of society. They are the workhorses which drive mankind forward. However, they get no glory, due to the fact that they are dominated by women, who prefer to see them as work-mules. Even the most noble of stallions is reduced to an ass, due to the power and speed of female gossip. Yet man doesn’t always start out as a slave. Actually, he has a very noble beginning to his torment, which he has dubbed ‘life’.
Although a male’s life starts the moment he thrusts his head out of his mother’s vagina, he is not seen as a male by his pack until he thrusts it back into a female, which, in some cases – depending on his lineage – may be the same he came out of. Yet until that day, he still has a few stages to go through, in which he may actually enjoy his life.
The first stage in male evolution is called childhood, a stage from which the body of the male evolves quickly, yet the mind does not. This is the only time of his life when the male acts accordingly to his age. This is also suspected to be the time when they first endure a sharp pain in their private area, as they are observed to fear this more than anything else throughout all other stages. But for many males, this is a time of freedom, when they are constricted neither by laws, nor by the opposite sex, which has been named ‘the weaker sex’. A more appropriate name would be ‘the physically weaker, yet mentally dominant sex’. Intense brain activity can be observed during this period, especially while playing video games. Many believe that this is a good thing, yet there are some who speculate that this is one of the main reasons of cerebral failure, as their brains were never meant for such intense activity. Yet this period is short lived, as young boys spend half of it becoming self-aware and the other half copying each of the parents’ bad traits.
Due to an alarming rate of growth noticed at the end of childhood, the male’s brain is unable to control the entire body. This is clearly the start of adolescence, as cluster of nerves join together to form a second brain inside the teenager’s body, about 60cm (2 feet) lower than the original one. It is during this time that teenagers learn to depend on it more than the original, childish one, yet they falsely blame their actions on hormones. This period is known for its radical changes, as teenagers have to stray more and more from their childhood. If earlier in their life they would be heroes by shooting each other, now all they become is jailbait. Their whole language changes, words like ‘cool’, ’bummer’, ‘narley’ and others being the basics of their new-found speech. Also, the childhood favorite pastime activity – taking a bath – is now considered ‘uncool’, which could be roughly translated as 'the devil’s work'. This is rumored to be the period of ‘great discoveries’, especially in one’s anatomy, yet this is false, as the only part of their bodies that teenagers discover in this period is around 30 square cm (4.8 square inches). Also, it is during this period when all males are tainted by female influence, as they start to experience the female's dominant character even this early in their lifetime. Although physically smaller than their male counterparts, they dominate them through the services they offer.
This is also the time when teenagers find their very own sanctuary: the bathroom. Much like a temple, for the male, the bathroom is a place of peace, contemplation and silence. This is why talking is strictly forbidden in this refuge, those who break this rule being seen as outcasts, branded as 'playing for the wrong team' or 'swinging both ways' - as opposed to the female’s bathroom, where communication is a must.
Adulthood starts abruptly for the males, marked by a simple ring, which he has to procure as a sign of fading intelligence. This period is characterized by the lower brain ceasing to function, as a fully developed man doesn’t need to think anymore. That’s what the female is for. She interprets his childish outbursts as a sign that he wants to relive his childhood, but in his own mind, it never ended. Also, food plays less and less of a role in his daily life, as a new fuel takes over: alcohol. This provides all the nutrients he needs to survive and see the world for what it really is. Also, it is known that alcohol gives the user super-human kung fu powers, as he is willing to pick a fight with anyone, regardless of his size. Proof of these legendary powers came in the form of Jackie Chan, in the movie “Drunken Master”. Women feel that this movie is a kung fu comedy, but it is actually a mass-education documentary. Also, if the level of blood in a man’s alcohol increases significantly – yes, adult males have alcohol flowing through their veins, not blood – he is subject to odd behavior, such as a desire to work or wear a suit.
As brainwave activity starts to decrease, the male body starts secreting a certain chemical from his hand and buttocks, which allows him to fuse with the couch and TV remote, as if they were extensions of his own body. This process is often irreversible, especially if the victim has TiVo. Hearing also appears to decrease, as he no longer hears the chores that his wife gives him. In this state, the adult male resembles a cockroach, who has just had his head chopped off. He will survive this crippling injury, only to die of hunger some time later. Yet women don’t allow men to die. They will keep them alive – just barely – so that they may toy with them as they please, until they can find no further use for them. Indeed, Darwin was right. Males evolve to adolescence, only to devolve to adulthood. A man’s life ends as it once began: he cries in his diapers, unable to get back in the vagina that he so loved.
If you liked this article, along with the previous ones, contact the ArticleSet team for suggestions, praises, topics you’d like to read such an article about and other positive thoughts. If you didn’t, please ignore the previous message and return to your puny, insignificant little existence. Oh, and before you say I have unwillingly insulted myself in this article, I must mention: I’m actually 3 ducks in a man costume. Better luck next time!
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